*******Please Subscribe To My Blog…..It Really Helps*******

More accurately…..

Spiders in Patrice…..

…..*****(What’s A “Patrice” Again?)*****…..

I’m surprised I can write about this so soon after the event…..

It still gives me terminal Willies just re-thinking it…..

*****…..but no spiders were harmed in the production of this story…..*****

…..(However…I did almost un-do all of my previous cardiac ablations)…..

You see…I was innocently trying to clear out (by hand) excessive clumps of spider webs in the chicken coop…..

The webs down at beak-level are non-existent…..

…..but the higher you go…the more the spider web population increases…..

…..(a chicken can only jump so high)…..

So it wasn’t a big deal to stand there…while their water pan was filling…and (carefully) grab clumps of derelict spider webs…and toss them to the ground…for the chickens to rummage through…..

The hens were having a blast…they were sure there were still edible bugs inside…..

…..in hindsight…there probably were…..

There are a lot of old webs in the coop…I figured I’d pace myself and clean a few out…each day…..

…..(I may never touch them again)…..

I thought it was no big deal…..

But after finishing in the coop…I went to the kitchen to do dishes at the sink…..

…..and I became aware of the back of my right thigh…itching…..

…..so I scratched it…..

Then the back of my left leg felt like something was tickling…(or maybe I had some hay in my pants again)…..

…..I remember a brief/random thought of…I wonder if there’s a spider in my pants(?)……

…..and I said to myself…..

Self—you examined each web-clump—there’s no way you picked up a web-glump that had spiders in it…..

And then…my left leg stopped bothering me…and I kept doing the dishes…..

…..then behind my left ear…it felt like something was stuck and flailing in my hair…..

…..ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!…..

To my utter/profound dismay…I had a large…bulbous…black spider caught in my hair!…..

…..nooooooooooooooooooooo!…..

That booger had somehow gotten into Patrice…..

…..(probably crawled up my pant leg…behind my right thigh…then rudely skittered inside my over-alls…to my left leg…..

…..then…traversed up my torso…inside Patrice’s bibs…and into my hair…..

…..ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!…..

That’s not right………….that’s just not right…..

A great deal of yelling…and impressionistic dance followed…..

My older daughter pinned me down…and carefully extricated Mr. Spider from behind my ear…..

…..he must not have bitten me…I haven’t swelled up and died yet…..

Mr. Spider was put on top of the wood shed…I didn’t chuck him to the hens…(but I thought about it)…..

…..he’s alive and well…and so am I…..

At least he wasn’t a snake…Ewwwwwwwwwwwww!…(now I’m compulsing about a snake crawling up my pant leg!)…..

…..and I really don’t want to think about that anymore either!…..

One thing I do have control over—–I’ll never clean the chicken coop again…EVER!…..

The webs can remain…undisturbed…forever…..

 

 

 

 

 

 

#blackwidowspiders #brownreclusespiders #floridaspiders #spiderwebs #anaphylacticshock #overalls