We still don’t know where “Hurricane Eta” is going…..

…..or what strength she is going to be when she gets there…..

We still don’t know who our next President is going to be…..

…..no…..we don’t…..

It looks like it is going to take awhile longer…..

I do know………….however………….that I dropped my cell phone into the toilet…..

…..yes…..I did…..

…..at least that much I am sure of…..

Who knows what will happen with Eta or the Presidency…..

…..I don’t…..

However…..I DO know…..that I plunked my cell phone into the swirly…..

…..it had been a stressful day…..

…..(aren’t they all?)…..

I was out of the house…..and away from the farm…..

…..wearing  my good clothes…..

…..which consisted of my cleaner blue jeans and a bra…..(among other things)…..

Patrice was left at home…..hanging on a door……………..airing out…..

…..she is wonderfully baggy…..totally discreet…..and game for anything…..

…..(and usually very gamey)…..(so the “airing” was a good thing)…..

If I had been wearing Patrice…..I wouldn’t have dropped my cell in the toilet…..

I was wearing my skinny jeans…..

I had my not-so-smart phone in my back pocket…..

…..(if my phone had been smarter…..it would have chosen a different pocket)…..

When I was finished doing the usual…..

…..I stood up & pulled up my Wrangler’s…..

…..my stupid phone (in my back pocket) got caught on the underside of the toilet seat…..

…..and flipped into the toilet’s swirl…..

I dove right in…..

…..yes, I did…..

…..I fished out my phone…..super quick…..

…..I shouted a number of expletives for the hard-of-hearing in the adjacent stalls…..

…..and I started drying…..and drying…..and drying…..and drying…..

*****So now it’s been a few days later*****

…..I “think” I can still get and receive texts…..

…..I “think” I can make and receive calls…..

…..I “think” the people on the other end can hear me…..

…..but I can’t hear them…..

When I got back home…..my older daughter buried my phone in a bowl of uncooked rice…..

…..(why not oatmeal?…..or semolina?)…..

…..(I do not know)…..

…..and there it has stayed…..

…..under the mysterious-drying-ricey-beads…..

…..I do know some bastardly cat decided to pee in the bowl of uncooked rice…..(?)…..

…..Why!!?!!…..

…..Why!!?!!…..

…..(don’t tell anyone, Pascal)…..

So…..somewhere down the road…..

…..I guess I’ll pull the stupid/smart phone out of the uncooked/smelly rice…..

…..spritz it with perfume…..

…..and fire that puppy up…..

…..time will tell…..

In the meantime…..it’s back to smoke signals or the morse code…..

………….sigh………….