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Our local squirrels are well fed…..

We have plump squirrels in our yard…..

…..unintentionally…but we do…..

They have an excessive BMI…..

*****(Body Mass Index…What Does That Mean?)*****

…..they are very well fed…one could say they’re Sumo-Squirrels…..

We also have Otto…our illustrious barn cat…..

Otto is supposed to keep the squirrels out of the garage and under control…..

Otto is slacking in his job responsibilities…..

Otto thinks it’s easier to snag puff-ball chicks…rather than chase down rats or squirrels…..

…..or maybe eating some crunchy snackle-kibbles in the shady-coolness of the garage…..

Otto’s a tank…he’s a big bruiser…and he knows it…..

…..yet he picks on and picks off the baby puff-ball chicks…(whenever he gets the chance)…..

…..(which is why I keep the new baby poultry on the back porch until they are totally feathered-out and sprint-worthy)…..

We’ve caught Otto dozing on top of the chest freezer…lazily watching the squirrels binge on multiple feed bags…..

…..which they’ve gnawed open…all the while perching on top of the stack…(for a cutsie-cutsie photo-op)…as they chow-down the expensive horse food…..

…..(damned Disney-rats)…..

The squirrels know what feed bags to go for…..

…..not the less-expensive filler-food…..

No-No-No…not for them!…..

…..they go for the high-octane expensive stuff…..

My older daughter found a completely hollowed-out empty bag at the bottom of a tall stack of feed(?)…..

…..Completely Empty!…..

That’s 50-lbs. of feed…down their furry little gullets…in one month…..

I can visualize their gymnastics maneuvers…much like a cheerleader’s pyramid…holding open the bag…for the last squirrel to get the last oat out…while hundreds of pounds of bagged feed are stacked above them…..

…..squirrely-pests …..

I have to figure out how Chip & Dale are getting in…..

…..you fluffy-tailed bastards…you’re cutting into my feed budget…..

…..Otto…..

…..you disappoint me…..

…..Game On…you Cunning Caryopsis Thieves!…..

…..This Is War…..

 

 

 

 

 

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