*******Please Subscribe To My Blog…..It Really Helps*******

I’m officially old…..

I turned seventy last month…..

…..the sixties are past…the seventies have begun…..

…..(and I’m not talking about old rock music)…(I’m the one that’s vintage now)…..

Well…I think I’ll embrace it…..

There’s a lot of value in aging…gracefully…or otherwise…..

I think I’ll embrace the otherwise…..

I can now become “that” old lady…(honestly…it’s already happened…but now I just have a better excuse)…..

Too much rock music…overly loud Sony Walkmans…multiple general anesthesia surgeries (it’s called perioperative hearing loss)—and I can’t hear worth a crap now…..

But I’ll use that…there are a lot of people I don’t want to listen to…or at least…pretend not to hear…..

And now I don’t have to blame my walking farts on the Wolfhounds…it’s all me…..

I’ve got two replaced knees and two replaced hips…so they’re good for longer mileage & abuse…and I’m just the person to abuse them with horseback riding and Fox Hunting…..

After I’m cremated…I want my lumps of melted titanium from my joints returned…my daughters can use them as ugly doorstops…..

Sadly…my B-Cups (then C’s) have become Fruit-Roll-ups…but…ask me if I care…..

*****(Fruit Roll–Ups…Fruit–By-The–Foot)*****

…..and no one warned me about underarm boobs!?!…..

…..I’ll just be daring and consider wearing an old-fashioned corset or bustier and make an inappropriately-aged fashion statement)…..

*****(The History Of The Corset)*****

I started reminiscing about all those obscure things from the past decades that have gone by…..

***Does anyone remember “Jello 1-2-3”?  What was that stuff?  It was great…but how did it separate like that?…was it radioactive…?…was it filled with Red Dye #40 or #3…or what?…..

*****(Jello 1-2-3)*****

***And remember culottes?…some things are better when they go out of fashion***

***Oooh!…Oooh!…Remember when pantyhose first became available?…(I was in middle school)…before that it was garter belts…I always felt like a puppet on elastic strings with those straps snapping me in the ass…..

Anyone remember those first pairs of taupe or suntan or nude colored pantyhose which would bag at your knees…with the crotch at half-mast…and the rolls around your ankles?…..

***And Dippity-Do hair gel with jumbo hair curlers…(that you slept in!?!)…..

*****(Dippity-Do)*****

***And remember when The Flintstones were on primetime TV on Friday nights?…on one of the three available channels?***(and we all looked forward to watching it!?!)…..

***I’ll still fight you for my cast-aluminum raw potato gun…(it’s a classic)…..

*****(Don’t Forget Your Mandatory Troll Doll Collection)*****

…..and Twister…..

***And we all concussed our faces with those first bounces of our new Super Balls(?)…..

*****(Super Balls)*****

…..and GI Joe…and the Gulf of Tonkin…JFK’s and RFK’s assassinations…..

…..and TV dinners…and when birth control pills first became available…..

And when we believed everything that Chet Huntley and David Brinkley said(?)…because they said it on TV…and if it was on TV…then it was true…the television wouldn’t lie…..

*****(Huntley and Brinkley News)*****

…..I’ll toast the Good Times and the Bad…with some mediocre Bourbon…..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Seventy Years Old—Damn~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

 

#sony #sonywalkman #jfk #rfk #

#jello #johnlennon #imaginealbum #fruitrollups #jimbeam #jackdaniels

#huntleyandbrinkley #davidbrinkley #gulfoftonkin #agentorange #miltonbradley

#medicare #aarp #titaniumjoints #memorycare #alzheimers #chethuntley #hasbro