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~~~Who’s A Pretty Princess?………….I Am!~~~

My older daughter has decided to try resurrecting my face…..

I’m a little less than cooperative…(or optimistic)…..

I’m of an opinion that it’s served me well…and continues to do its job…..

….. that’s all I’m expecting…..

I don’t need plumping…I don’t mind jowls…and my turkey neck…well…now that’s interesting…..

My daughter chases me around with sun block—5370 SPF…..

The Florida sun is brutal…..

I have noticed that over the years…my skin has been self-propagating more of itself…..

I’m talking about all of the new folds and sags and wrinkles…..

It’s given up its battle against gravity…now it’s just going with the droop…..

My face has a low-tide line so to speak…(you know—the discarded/tangled monofilament…the hermit crabs…and dead fish)…..

My tide has gone out…..

I think that the glaring white stripes (in the deep untanned folds on my face)…add character…..

…..if they’re laugh-lines…then I’ve lived a life in hysterics…..

My daughter has taken on my face as a challenge…..

Over the years…I’ve tried to ignore it…she says…that’s obvious…..

I don’t mind being her experiment………….but it’s very wet…..

You know what I don’t like?………….I don’t like saggy ear lobes…..

I figured if my pierced ears get any bigger…I’ll just put YooHoo bottle caps in the lobe holes…..

So here’s some of the stuff my daughter’s been puttying on…..

…..there’s a sequence of events…..

The first thing she does is tackle me…and then she sits on my chest…she uses salicylic acid pads or alternates with a Vitamin C cleanser…(just to get the farm dirt off)…..

…..(whatever happened with a good face scrub with Listerine or rubbing alcohol?—that always took everything down to nice clean bedrock)…..

Then…it’s a niacinamide cream…Then SNAIL MUCIN! (she said it’s snail spit)…(I hope it’s spit)…(who knows what these special/facial snails are up to)?…?…..?

Hyaluronic acid’s up next…(I have no idea what it does)…

Then the attack of my droopy eyelids begins…there’s caffeine peptides for that…..

Yep…not only is coffee good for drinking…it covers healthy treatments from eyelids to colon cleansing enemas…..

…..don’t ask me…I won’t explain…it’s worth a YaHoo search…..

There’s frankincense serum for skin tightening (she says for my puppet mouth & my floppy jowls)…and a dilution of spearmint oil (to minimize chin hair growth because I’m reverting to my Neanderthal roots)…..

Then there’s argireline…and rosehip oil…and retinol that are in the regime somewhere too…..

And it’s all topped off with the German or French-type of Nivea cream…not the American Nivea…(there’s a huge difference…and it’s worth the little bit extra $ on Amazon)…..

The black castor seed oil is making my eye lashes thicker again…(it really is)…but I can’t read for about four hours afterward…my eyes are too blurry…..

I…think…my face…is actually…showing…a difference…(shhhhhhh)…..

I do know that I whine and complain a lot…(after she gets off my chest and I can breath again)…..

It all really does make my face slick…but my ear lobes are looking better(?)…..

…..(rubbing alcohol and elbow grease was so much easier)…..

~~~But…Who’s…A Pretty Princess…Now!~~~

 

 

 

 

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