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…………………(Ode to Caesar…continued)…………………

…..(but this is still re-hashing the night prior to going into the hospital the last time)…..

………….(I haven’t gone in again)…(phew)………….

…..after the initial attack & Caesar’s demise…all was quiet for a little bit that night…..

I kept reading…and listening (remember…the coop is right off my bedroom window)…..

AND DAMN!…if there wasn’t a thump and a quiet kerfuffle in the coop a little after 1:00am…..

I was prepared for a run down the short hallway to the master bath…..

I jumped over multiple sleeping Irish Wolfhounds (worthless watchdogs)…got to the coop door…and flipped on the light…..

All of my poor hapless ducks were huddled and shaking in a milling/unproductive circle…the chickens were nervously clucking (but up on the highest perch)…..

…..and there…squeezing into the coop…was a MASSIVE raccoon…..

I was barefoot in the coop (ewwww)…and eye-to-eye with a big-masked-pillager…..

…..he must’ve been looking for Caesar’s body…and then…opted for a different late night snack…..

…………………BUT NOT MY DUCKS—BUDDY!…………………

Those of you who have seen the recent “Guardians of the Galaxy” know Rocket (the raccoon in the movie)…..

This guy (or girl) had a big round face…the size of a dinner plate…..

…..he was double the size of Rocket on steroids…..

*****(A number of years ago…my eardrums learned the hard way not to use a firearm inside the coop)…..

*****(I was deaf for days afterwards)…(the opossum had worse issues)…..

Fortunately…(for both of us)…the behemoth raccoon took off into the night…I grabbed my shoes…my .38…and a bright flashlight…..

…..and I was out the front door…..

…..once again…I was doing battle for the farm in my pajamas…in the dark…..

Upon quick observation…there was no raccoon…the patched/damaged hole in the coop wall was wide open…and my pajama bottoms were around my ankles…(having been pulled down by the weight of the revolver in my pocket)…..

…..(Note to Self:  Find P.J.’s that have adequate pocket-holsters)…..

I didn’t want to kill the raccoon…he was only trying to survive…or feed his family…..

………….BUT—NOT—MY—BIRDS!………….

I needed my Taurus because—if he had been rabid…I wanted to handle it myself…I didn’t want to include my daughters…..

It was after 1:00am…I live way out in the boonies…and I was (again) the first line of defense…in the dark…..

…..(no neighbors bother me anymore)—(they know better)…..

I knew if I didn’t do something…this coon was persistent…he’d be back…I’d never sleep…..

I subsequently dragged over the salvaged/heavy cement chimney cap that the sweeps had left last fall…..

…..I wedged it over the hole…turned off the electric fence…and started repairing the (previously/not-working) electric wiring that would help to safe-guard the poultry in the coop…..

By the time I was done…I had cleaned off all the excessive cobwebs…(by hand)…(ewwww)…cleared the wires through the insulators and re-connected the coop to the electric fence charger…..

…..I left a wonderfully snapping/sparking short…right where the cement patch was situated over the hole in the coop wall…..

It provided a visual/audible warning to the returning raccoon…to stay away…..

And so far…………………he has…..

…..ROCKY and/or ROCKET—KEEP YOUR OPPOSABLE THUMBS OFF MY BIRDS!!!…..

…..(Do Raccoons Really Have Thumbs?)…..

~~~~~~~(and then…the next morning)—(the one after Caesar’s demise)~~~~~~~

I got up early…went to my scheduled doctor’s appointment…and got succinctly slam-dunked into the hospital…..

…..(but the ducks are safe…and the electric fencing in the pasture has been fixed)…..

…..(and now you know the rest of the story)…………………(shhhhh)…..

(I’ll miss Caesar)…..

 

 

 

 

 

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