Sloane & The Vapors

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Sloane has a delicate digestion…..

She needs to partake in a bland diet…..

My daughters and I swear she is rotting from the inside out…..

We’ve discovered that this hound CAN NOT be given eggs to eat…Ever Again!…..

………….!!!EVER!!!………….

You see…it’s Springtime…and all the hens are cranked-up into over-drive with regards to egg production…..

So as a result…it is easy to find errant eggs…on forgotten/impromptu nests…..

…..and because we don’t know how long we’ve overlooked what a hen has obviously forgotten…we don’t keep those eggs for human consumption…..

We can easily check them ourselves for edibility with the “Egg-Floating-Method”…..

…..or we can just as easily pass them along to a hound or a pig…..

However…..

We have all unanimously agreed that…..

*****SLOANE NEVER GETS A RAW EGG EVER AGAIN***NEVER*****

To put it delicately~~~Eggs Do Not Agree With Her Constitution~~~

But to be more accurate…her farts are bad enough to put a rhinoceros into a coma…..

She is single-handedly responsible for global-warming with all of that foul methane she produces…..

And it’s the type of gas that grabs you by the nose and Velcro’s itself on and Never Never Lets Go…..

You find yourself clawing at your face and gasping while sprinting from the room and blindly running into walls…..

…..Your sinuses and your eyes hurt so Bad!…..

It’s like…as soon as those vapors hit you…you have immediate Pink-Eye…..

Sloane!?!…What is Wrong with You!?!

Your Gas Is Absolutely Lethal!…..

#backwoodshomemagazine #velcro

#beano #lactaid #imodium

#alkaseltzer

#flatulence #methanegas #globalwarming #gasx #simethicone #peptolbismol #gerd

Swamp Hag