Pascal, I need to remind you…….this is a farm blog…….with posts that would probably not be acceptable as party conversations…

This is probably going to be one of those entries…

We are a small homesteading farm…

We have a variety of self-sustaining (HA!) animals and participants.

We have two buck goats who have a job to do.

One Boer meat goat buck (Optimus Prime) and one Oberhasli dairy goat buck (Professor Dillamond).

We’ve had goats for over twenty years.  So we’ve dealt with goat problems for the same amount of time…

But this was a new one…

The Professor couldn’t pee…

Actually he could pee, just not with a hearty, healthy stream………….and it was accompanied by a lot of stretching and groaning.

TMI?………………………………….you bet’cha!

(Plus he looked bloated and gurgly.)-(there’s farm jargon for that:  “water-belly”——-FYI, it’s not water.)

Hmmmmmmmmm not good…right?!

*******Great Site For Goat Information*******

*******Another Great Goat Site*******

(*****actually these are great sites for homesteading information in general*****)

So it appears that Dillamond has Urinary Calculi…….hmmmmmmmmmmm…

And it appears that the necessary treatment is an oral drench of Ammonium Chloride.

I’m not going to attempt stomach-tubing an adult male goat two times a day for over a week (he’s over 150 lbs).

Nope—–I won’t do that.

Okay, then…….

So armed with an oral syringe of Ammonium Chloride mixed with Gatorade plus a needle & syringe of Banamine (for fever reduction and a muscle relaxant)…….my younger daughter and I headed out to do battle with the bucks and to hopefully treat Professor Dillamond……..

Mature buck goats have beautiful, luxurious (sticky) beards…….I use them as handles…….nasty, icky handles…

(I don’t want to think about why they are sticky…)

I need to remind everybody that buck (billy) goats are nasty.

They smell nasty…

They act nasty…

They are always overly-focused on every single nasty aspect of “their job”…

…………But with a lot of goat-husbandry under my belt (combined with a battle-axe-attitude) I usually get the job done………….I don’t smell right afterwards………….but I get it done.

I opt for just smelling awful afterwards & moving quickly if I have to go to Winn Dixie (so people can’t identify who/what smells so bad)…….

…….in my defense…….how many times would I have to launder Patrice when I’m medicating Dillamond two times a day!?!

AND…….(those helpful sites I mentioned earlier?)…….one “recommended” exposing the “pizzle” (their word not mine), and trying to relieve any “stones”…….(?)……..(?)…….(?)…….(?)……..(?)…….(?)…….

…………………………(I tried)……………………….

(The Professor would have none of it!)

……………………………………………(Pascal…don’t EVER tell anyone)…