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Well…today I could write about the colonoscopy I had yesterday…..

Butt…I’d probably loose subscribers…..

I guess colonoscopies are a necessity of life…..

But(t) not something to talk about………….so maybe I shouldn’t(?)…..

I’ve recently been wondering what drives a doctor to specialize in that “end” of health(?)…at one time I had wondered about Podiatrists and their propensities…and even Gynecologists make sense…but(t)…Proctology(?)…(i.e. Colorectal Specialists)…..

…..Nope…Not so much…..

However…I would like to ask………….Just What IS That Garbage They Expect You To Drink(?)…..

…And Keep Down(!)…..

I’m here to say…It’s the worst Beer Bong Ever!…..

*****(Here’s An Explanation for Those of You Who Do Not Know About Beer Bongs)*****

I could fake out my digestive palette for the first couple glasses of that liquid refuse…..

…..but(t) after that…..

…..that gallonage of garbage was looking like a…”No Can Do”…..

My throat and stomach flaps had a mind of their own…and they firmly battened down the hatches…..

It was self survival at its basic level…..

I had to plead with my throat…into even considering swallowing any more of that non-delicious yuck-a-zoid crapola…..

Throughout my life…(other than the Moon Pies and the constant astringent cleansing of my pipes with mediocre bourbon)…..

I think I’ve been fairly well informed about good nutrition…..

….(perhaps not in practice–but well informed none the less)…..

Psyllium seed mucilage has been my friend for a great many years…(I even give it to my horses to help them avoid sand colic)…..

*****(Okay What’s This Psyllium Seed Mucilage Stuff?)*****

*****Here’s Some Good Advice–ALWAYS thoroughly rinse your glass immediately upon drinking that Metamucil stuff…because if you let it dry on…..

…..you’ll have to sand blast that glass to get it sparkly clean again…..

Or just throw it out………….just saying…..

There’s some good reading material out there on healthy lifestyles…..

I think I read this book decades and decades ago…*****(“Food Is Your Best Medicine” by Henry G. Bieler)*****

I’d recommend it today…I’m fairly sure it has some memorable quotes in it like…”Death Begins in the Colon”…..

…..(you know catchy little phrases like that)…..

That’s a real popular quote…Everyone loves to use it…..

But(t) you know it makes sense…look what the intestinal tract settles for as constant company?…..

I mean…it doesn’t have a cheery outlook on life to begin with…..

…..would you?…..

For me the day before the colonoscopy was the worst…..

Chugging very questionable chunky slurries…..

Wishing I’d invested in quadruple-ply toilet paper…and an aloe vera plant…..

Realizing you’re not as fast as you used to be…and that you should give yourself more time on the next sprint to the bathroom…..

Yep…The Day Before Was The Worst…..

The actual day of the procedure…was just getting to the hospital on time…feeling wrung out and drained like a “Dark Crystal” Podling…..

*****(Please Explain What’s a “Dark Crystal” Podling?)*****

And then…it was just regular nakidity (sp?–don’t care)…in an overly cold…stainless steel room…..

…..dressed in ways your Mother never approved of…without any underwear At All…..

And then the only Saving Grace of the Day………….was the Propofol…..

And that’s all she wrote…..

Well not really…..

But(t)…I’ll stop with the but(t) jokes for now…..

The colonoscopy is behind me…and alls well that ends well…(HA!)…..

…..(Maturity…it’s a fleeting thing)…..