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***Boondocks Defined***

We’ve discussed this before…..

…..I live in the boonies…..

…..the soggy…..swampy…..sticks of rural Florida…..

Lots of other things live in the sticks alongside me…..

…..they skitter…..they slither…..they lumber…..they bound…..

…..some are less than pleasant and don’t have any desire to co-habitate with me…..

To the best of my ability…..I try to live alongside whoever and whatever…..

…..but mostly I just try to avoid the worst of the ickies…..

Here are some suggestions I’ve put together of things NOT TO DO in the boonies of rural Florida…..

*****NEVER put your hand down an unidentified hole in the ground…..one of our friends did that…..and he was high-five’d by a pygmy rattlesnake…..

…..our friend was succinctly dispatched to the ER with an ice pack and rattlesnake “parts” in a quart ZipLock bag…..(fyi—hospital staff need to identify the type of snake before they can give you anti-venom)…..

…..(you just can’t make this stuff up!)…..

*****NEVER sit on a log without first checking under it…around it…and behind it…..(you know…because of the snakes…or biting beetles…or fire ants…or other fun stuff)…..

*****NEVER pick up or move boards without first levering them up to see what’s been napping underneath…..

*****AT NIGHT***when you hear “Bad Things” coming from the swamp…..GO INSIDE!…..

*****ALWAYS keep a well-charged cell phone on your person…..(for the flashlight and for #911)…..

It’s just common sense…..right?…..

And because of all of the above warnings…..

…..I’m usually “carrying” (to me it just makes good sense)…..

…..and by carrying I mean…..I usually have a pistol in one of Patrice’s pockets…..

…..don’t smirk…..I mean a real revolver…..

Between the snakes and farm-living and rural/swamplife…..it seems like a prudent choice…..

Recently (sadly)I’ve made an aging observation…..

…..arthritis…..

…..sigh…..

…..but that’s another story…..

…..to be continued…..

 

 

 

 

 

#semiautomatic #revolver #antivenom #swamplife #floridaswamp #fireants #ziplockbags #911 #er