My poor daughter is at the subject matter, yet again.  Poor thing.

She didn’t make me promise this time not to post about this one………………..I may have lost some credibility with her……………………….where’s the trust?!

She’s starting a new job.  A server (apparently you are not allowed to say waitress anymore…………………and I still say stewardess, and actress, and comedienne)-(liberation is not in word only—–you should see my N.O.W. pendant from the seventies—–it doubles as brass knuckles).  She’s in training.  Her attire is all black.  Black shirt, black pants, black (no-slip) shoes.

Enter Swamp Farm————–     Dah!  Dah!  Daaaaaaah!

So, prior to leaving this morning, she was feeding the Cockatoo on the porch and heard a goat(s) in distress.  Unbeknownst to me, she went out to investigate and fix the situation………………poor thing………………both my daughter and our Boer buck.  He’s fine now.  But he wasn’t then.

*****(But don’t ask me about the Jersey Giant hen in the water trough…………WHY???  There’s water everywhere else!!!  Why there!!!!!)*****

Apparently another buck with an ample set of horns was involved along with Prime (our Boer’s name is Optimus Prime)……………………..they must have gotten into a kerfuffle over the feed trough this morning and mayhem ensued.

The other buck was disbudded late, and given how potent buck testosterone is, he still grew a very substantial set of horns……………which he uses with and without discretion……………..and quite often on us.  He is what you would call a real butt-head.

But this time, he got one of his horns under Prime’s collar and twisted, and twisted, and twisted, and twisted…………….and he was the one that was loudly complaining.  That was probably because the choking, frothing Prime couldn’t say anything.  Prime was being dragged around the pasture, off his feet, when my daughter arrived.  (And this is exactly why we disbud all of our goats.)

Daughter to the rescue.  She saved Prime from being throttled to death.  But not before bad-horned-butt-head-buck (say that five times fast) rammed her in the ribcage and thigh and almost took her to the ground too.  She was able to remove Prime’s collar after a great deal of jimmying and saved his Transformer-butt.  Phew!  She was buck-ragged (another farm term) up one side and down the other………………..in her work clothes………………..so sad……………….plus, she bruises like a peach.

Then, she came into the house and told us the story.  I knew before she said anything that it involved bucks…………………………………it was the prevailing, predominant “wang”in the air that was the give-away. Remember the “wang” definition?  (See “Goat Survival (Course #101~~~~~Up to Graduate School) post/publish June 17, 2017).

She WAS HEADY.  She only owns one work outfit so far, because it’s a new job, and we had no time to launder.

Time for………………….stop-gap……………….PURFUME THERAPY !!!!!!!!!

I proffered up my “Lauren” perfume. We doused & atomized her multiply/armpits and all.  She rinsed her arms & hands in lemon juice…………………….we didn’t have time for a tomato juice bath.  (Buck smell treatment is a lot like skunk spray treatment).  She went out the door disgruntled and smelling like a french whore with a roll of packing tape to get most of the goat hairs off of her black uniform (both goats are mostly white)………………….what a way to make an impression at a new serving job!  That wang-smell is enough to put anyone off their appetite.

But Prime is still standing and breathing……………….I just checked on him.  (And, yes, I made sure I was mostly clothed and that the door was unlocked.)

AND after she left I did some fast “Yahoo’ing” along with some speed-dialing.  AND now this “bad buck” has an appointment already waiting for him at the local, ethnic butchers.  He will soon come back home in nice, stamped, white paper packages……………goat curry is the best.  I think my daughter will enjoy it the most……………served hot or cold.  (I’m trying to sound literary. You know that expression “revenge is a dish best served cold”.)

See what happens when my family gets messed with!!!                                 Frozen, packaged meat.

 

OH, AND LET’S NOT EVEN TALK ABOUT TROPICAL STORM &/OR HURRICANE NATE!!!!!!!!!!!