Geez, Louise!!!

I survived the barn chores this morning……….with one, sprained ankle and a bleeding, semi-broken nose.

 

Oh, and one goat life saved (maybe).

Let me explain………………………………………

It’s now the rainy season.  That means there are a lot of fast-moving, electrical storms in our area on the west coast of Florida.

In order to get the chores done, you have to dodge the storms and move fast.

Which is what I thought I was doing…………………deftly & quickly…

Nope…………Not…………Nicht.

I wanted to get them done before the storms set in for the day……………..and they were moving in quickly………………it was getting really dark for 10:00AM.

 

Things were going swimmingly (by swimmingly I mean just that…………………there’s already so much water and mud everywhere).

I was motoring through the chores.  I had all of the appropriate buckets filled with the appropriate food, for the appropriate critters.

The big thunder-rumbles were still a long way away……………but coming our way quickly.

First off, I get slimed with that special-mud from the happy-dancing pigs…………………no biggie………………that happens all the time.

Then things start really heading south.

I’m feeding the doe goat (with a late-season kid) inside the barn’s breezeway, so they can both stay out of the incoming, inclement weather.

Mom-goat had dutifully hidden her buckling behind & semi-under the bush-hog pan………………..perhaps not my choice of a baby-safe environment but………………hey, who am I to question another Mother’s child-rearing decision?

While I’m in the barn trying to wrestle an extra feeding pan from under a stack of buckets, one foot gets caught under the bush-hog pan, and I loose my balance while the other foot gets pinned under a pile of old lumber.

I’m usually pretty good at falling, but this time one leg got hung-up on the bush-hog’s PTO arm……………………and I know I’m going down in a full-fledged/ugly/embarrassing header.

But wait there’s more……..

I fell face first on the 20-quart bucket I was holding.  I couldn’t get my hands free in time————–so I did a really painful, face-plant on the up-turned bucket.

Nose-bloodied & tearing eyes, I start feeling for a straight septum and phew…………….it’s there………….or at least straight enough!!!!!      Yippee!                Ow.  (And I didn’t reach for my camera once!)

I right myself and continue to collect all of the empty buckets and throw them into the wheelbarrow to head for the house away from the rapidly ensuing lightening.

But wait…………………there’s a big goat down flat on her side by the compressed alfalfa bale……………….I can see her ears moving though………………..a bit……………..so she’s alive…

When I get there…………….and yes, the electric fence has a really good charge (yippee)-(Especially when you are on all fours and soaking wet)……………….

I was zapped right on my lower back as I crawled under the fence on my hands and knees……………..

………………the doe is still alive, but glassy-eyed, with a taunt/nylon hay-string wrapped tightly around her neck.

The hay-sting was securely looped into the rock-hard bale, which was under the run-in for Brave & Bell…………..but I always carry knives for just this reason.

Fortunately, Patrice had my Texas-toothpick tucked away in her bibs.

I was able to cut the doe free, but she wasn’t trying to get up.  I flipped her over in case she had been on that side for too long.

Then I grabbed her by her four hooves and dragged all 100+ lbs. of her under the electric fence (not getting zapped a second time) so the horses wouldn’t trample her when the impending rainstorm hit………………..which was already starting to happen.

I propped her up on her chest under the over-hang.  (She was starting to become a little more animated.)

And I ran for the house.

I’m wheezing through both of my swollen nostrils.

I think I’m going to get two black eyes from the face-plant.

I hope the doe makes it…