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Palmetto Bugs are the Humvee-Half-Track vehicles of the bug world…..

You can easily hear them clattering down a tile hallway…..

Armadillos…alligators…and palmetto bugs have successfully reached their peak on the evolutionary scale…they have evolved into perfect self-sustaining creatures…..

…..well…armadillos haven’t learned how to survive crossing a road yet…..

…..and palmetto bugs can’t out run a chicken either…..

But…alligators…..

…..yep…they’re at the perfected-top of their evolutionary ladder…and I will leave them well enough alone…right there…to enjoy their scaled perfection…..

Insomnia is a thing I’ve discovered in my older years…I have my night time song & dance which I conscientiously complete every night in order to fall asleep and stay asleep…..

…..if anything disturbs that routine…or I miss a beat…I can kiss a good night’s sleep goodbye…..

And that’s just what happened…..

Recently…I was about to perfectly fall into blissful slumber…at around midnight…..

…..when the electric fencing wire around the chicken coop (which is right outside my bedroom window) started loudly snapping…..

I had to rouse myself enough…to see if it was something I could possibly ignore…for the rest of the night’s sleep…..

…..I decided I could…..

I decided I would re-frame the sound in my mind…into a large comfortable clock ticking on my bedside table…..

…..it was working…..

Until I turned off the lights…..

And with each and every short & snap…the bedroom would brilliantly light up from the sparking…..

………….crap………….

It’s the dry season…it could start a fire…it could be a sad little snake I could still save…or an anole…or something I’d feel bad about in the morning…when it’s sad/dead body would erect itself in a salute every time the electricity passed through…..

…..I worry about these things…..

You can see where this is going…right?…..

With the flashing lights…and the crackling sparks…the fear of a brush fire…and my mind envisioning something semi-dying from pulsed electrocution…..

I knew I had to get up…get a flashlight…(why don’t pajama pockets hold a .38 without them falling around your ankles?)…..

I knew I was going to die outside in the dark…eaten by the oogie-boogies…trying to fix the crackling electric fence…while the rest of my family slept inside…..

…..only to find that all this drama originated from a ginormous/armored-plated palmetto bug arching between the ground and an electric wire…..

The bug would have been ignitable kindling by morning…..

So…I found a dry stick (not a damp one/I’ve found out the hard way about the damp ones)…I got into rhythm with the fence pulses (my heart doctors don’t know the ins & outs of electric fencing—that topic is best left unspoken)…..

…..and I swept that stupid/dead bug away from its disorderly snap/crackle/& popping…..

I successfully navigated the front yard on my return trip…got back inside the house…locked the door…and got into bed…..

…..where I stared at the ceiling…in the dark…in the quiet solitude of my insomnolence…..

Stupid bug…..

 

 

 

 

#humvee

#insomnia #insomnolence #nuitblanche #pervigilium #nyquil #relaxiumsleep #ambien #restoril #halftrackvehicle