Right now…..I should be doing paperwork to renew my National Athletic Training license before December 31st…….

Procrastinate much??????????

But honestly…….I’ve been attempting to do that all day long…….with very little success…….

I’ve put out a loud/pathetic wail to my older daughter to help me with all of this necessary cyber-garbage…….

…….I’ve got scraps of paper and xeroxed certificates floating all over this house…….and if DaVinci pee’d on them sometime throughout the year…….who knows what I did with them…….?…

…..I sure don’t…..

So instead………….

I’m going to write about ducks…….

My ducks to be specific…….

(there’s a segue there somewhere for me…….there really is…)

I have four Black Runner Ducks…

They crack me up…….always entertaining…

There’s Edgar and Poe and Raven and Lenore…

Lenore doesn’t like leaving the coop…

She’s agoraphobic…

…….she always stays behind…

…….and ducks are messy…….so I’m (unsuccessfully) learning different methods of containing their mess…

…….it’s important to understand that first and foremost ducks like…….NO…….ducks LOVE…….mud!…

When they can’t find mud supplied to them by Mother Nature…….

…..they willingly make their own…….

…..AND they are very handy at that skill…….

Lenore is a reticent, shy duck…….everyone else leaves the coop every morning…….but Lenore stays behind…

…..however, she’s a busy duck…….

…..she’s always making more mud by scooping water out of their water pan and stomping it into mud-patties with her feet…….

…..and somehow or another she develops mud-ball accumulations on the nails of her webbed-feet…….

…..and then those mud-balls keep adding more mud and they keep growing…….

…..then I have to chase the duck down and carefully remove the hardened balls with a nutcracker…

…..Lenore doesn’t like it…….

…..but as my father would sagely say…….”she doesn’t pay the mortgage”…

…..so, she doesn’t have a vote…

Today was our regular Mud-Ball-Removal-Session…….after exposing her normal, webbed-tootsies & nails…….I sprayed the newly exposed tissue with colloidal silver…….held her while it dried…….then slathered her feetsies with lard…….(maybe to stop future mud from sticking?)

…..she was a bleary-eyed, unhappy duck…….

…..but when I finally did put her back down on her feet…….she was able to easily run away without tripping over herself like a convict on a chain gang.

(There…….I feel better now…….I’ll tackle the stupid computer CEU’s and my license renewal tomorrow…….after I whine really, really loudly…….and my older daughter comes and rescues me………………………again…)

She’s a good kid…

Did I mention that I hate computers?…