I’m a complainer…

I’m a procrastinator…

Sometimes I’d prefer to keep my head in the sand and not know what’s going on…

And sometimes I have to pull up my big girl panties and act like an adult………….

I don’t like tests on my body…

The older I get…….the more tests I need…

My warranty is winding down…

I don’t mind the actual tests……….it’s fitting them into my day.

So many steps have to happen…

It’s a pain in the…………………neck.

First there’s the computer scheduling…….(daunting…at best)

…..and then when that’s FINALLY all done…….I habitually hit the delete button by mistake…….and wipeout everything…

…..but things don’t end there…….

…..I have to remember to put the date on the calendar…….

…..and I have to remember to look at the calendar…….

…..remembering the date is a tough one…….because I just don’t want to…

Then there’s the day of the test…….

I have to take off Patrice/put on a bra/get into the truck/remember what lab I’m going to/and find said-lab…

…..and then there’s parking (I have to confess, I like to park my dually in the middle of two designated/compact car spots…….just to scare the “smart cars”…..heh, heh, heh)

…..then let’s not forget the obligatory waiting room (you know…..the one with old magazines with bubblegum between the pages?)

…..and the waiting…

…..oh wait…….and more waiting…….

…grrrrrrrrrrrrr………………….

…..and those paper gowns!

…………I hate them.

Open in the front?

Open in the back?

…..I try to be discrete…….I do…….but I just don’t care…….

But, I don’t want the fresh, young techs (who haven’t survived gravity for as long as I have) to choke on their spittle and faint dead away……………..that would just make my tests take even longer.

I’ve taken to perching like a weeble-wobble right on the edge of “those” stirrups…….just to see if they ask me to skooch down further…….

Now, I just get silence & startled looks…….(heh, heh, heh)

I’ll do the tests…….

…..but I don’t have to like them…

I’ve recently survived an appointment for fasted-bloodwork…

Anything that gets between me and my morning tea is a bad, bad thing…

Beforehand, I found myself savoring and sucking on my toothbrush…

How sad is that…….?

…..I may have crunched on the bristles a few times too…

But, the test results are now in…..

Prognosis?………….I’m alive…