IT’S TIME.

I need to re-initiate my friendship with Dr. Atkins.  I like any diet where bacon is celebrated.  For me……………where dieting is concerned……………..Dr. Atkins & I are buds.  My geriatric pudge needs to go.

And NO I don’t do the sensible, healthy fat version of the good Doctor’s bill of fare……………………..Dr. Atkins and I do not beach comb on South Beach.  Nope.  No hand-in-hand beach skipping for us.  Ta!  La!

It’s all heavy whipping cream, bacon, well-marbled steak with sour cream & horseradish, followed by country ribs, & nacho dip on a pork rind——and then——repeat.

I do like olive oil.  I’ve researched how to buy the brands in glass bottles or tins, and to make sure it has two dates printed on the container (harvest date & preparation date).  And it should never be packaged in plastic.  But I don’t want to……………….Not when I can use butter……………….really, there’s just no choice involved here whatsoever………………………………ah, sweet butter.  Another bestie.

But I also just love bacon grease and lard……………………I’m ashamed to say it, but…………………….I do………………….I really do.

In the past I’ve lived and breathed the good doctor’s diet, and though I don’t advocate it for others, & I really don’t understand it……………. I’ve found my cholesterol drops……………….?  Go figure.  I don’t get it.  Not one bit.  But it always happens for me……………..(?)  Additionally my fibromyalgia improves……………….I kid you not!  Maybe I’m just a missing-link/cave-man throwback.

Now time for a short monologue on sweet butter…………………………….isn’t it just the best?……………not that I’ve EVER, EVER rolled a few butter balls in stevia and popped them in my mouth.  I mean, who would do that?………………….That would be a very bad choice, now wouldn’t it.  That would just be bad.

Here’s another bad choice.  It took some experimenting with, but I persevered and developed a really good/bad dessert while still Atkins’ing.  It starts with heavy whipping cream (zero carbs), all the stevia powder you want (zero carbs), and any flavor of McCormick’s extract that you want (zero carbs).  Then you whip it.  Whip it good.

When it is good and stiff whipped cream, it is ready.  Then spoon it onto parchment-papered cookie trays in dollops, and then freeze that lusciousness into frozen wonderfulness. They will later become all you’ve ever wanted or needed in a dessert……………….of course, except……………more desserts.

Fondue is another acceptable do-able-dish with the good Doctor’s seal of okay.  But what to dip the cheese fondue with???  Well, certainly that would have to be baked cheese chips (I kid you not), you choose the type of cheese you want to chip-ify and then bake those puppies until they are crispy chips.

What could possibly be better than cheesy fondue being dipped with cheesy chips?  It’s an absolute Cheese on Cheese Extravaganza…………..Fabulous!

I knew I had to stop stuffing my face with bad things when I kept seeing my stack of unwearable blue jeans growing while my stack of wearables was vanishing before my eyes……………….I even found Patrice in tears.

I had to forcibly sit her down (maybe that was because she’s over-due for laundering) and tell her that I would never out-grow her.  She would always be my bestie and my permanent go-to for leisure/work-wear……………………poor thing.  I just hate to see double-stitched denim so distraught.  See (“Patrice (et. al.)”–post/published June 7, 2017).

I have been known to loose 50-some-odd pounds on this diet in the past.  This diet would be an impossibility for me if it didn’t tolerate mediocre bourbon and diet coke (zero carbs).  Or Fleischmann’s Gin and diet tonic (with or without lime flavor)-(zero carbs)-(skip the lime slice).  I can go without wine, or cider, or beer, or alcoholic drinks with fruity names and paper umbrellas and sweet garnishes (sigh)……………..however they will be missed……………..

 

But life can still be good while reducing, with a good/mediocre bourbon and diet coke and Patrice there by my side.

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I did discover that the occasional Brut champagne is fairly low in carbs. The better the Brut, the less the carbs.  Could life really be any better than a frozen-whipped-cream-bon-bon-thingie in one hand and a flute of good Brut in the other!?!

Metallic, spandex leggings here I come……………………….oops, I just made Patrice start crying again.

 

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