We just finished our monthly hit on Walmart.

They finally got huge briskets back in stock.

 

 

 

I love me a big slab o’ meat…….

It wasn’t in our budget…….but it was in my shopping cart.

 

My younger daughter and I tootled around Walmart with two carts…….filling both…

…….all jumbo/economy-sized merchandise.

Really shopping like we do is an aerobic activity…….

First we put the stuff in the cart…

Then we put the stuff on the cash register’s belt…

Then we put the same stuff back in the carts…

The exact same stuff gets positioned on the back seat of the truck (where it skids-off/dumps-over/or gets pancake-smooshed at its very first opportunity………….with the larger/heavier groceries somehow hitting me in the back of the head…

Then we go home…….

…….and do it all again………….backwards…

…….which is what we did.

I reverently put my double-bagged, 10 1/2 lbs. brisket on the kitchen counter and went out to get more of the mountains of strewn groceries from my truck……..(plus the mandatory items that were spread between the truck and the house from the equally-mandatory torn grocery bags…)-(in the mud.)

(Don’t you just hate when that two pound can of baked bean falls through a shopping bag and just has to hit the cuticle of your toenail with its perfectly balanced/sharp rim?)…….(always happens)…….it’s just part of the shopping ritual I guess.

In the middle of all of this, I discovered that little, diminutive Prosecco had grabbed the 10 1/2 lbs. brisket off the kitchen counter and was viciously dragging it under the hoosier while gnawing through the plastic.

 

She might have gotten away with it a little bit longer, but she was so vocally feral and loud.

 

NOBODY gets between me and my big chunks of meat!

NOBODY!

 

I swung that brisket around like it was a gaucho’s bolas and that carnivorous-diminutive-monster flew and splatted…….

I felt really good about that.

 

On another occasion we caught Prosecco dragging a head of Iceberg lettuce between her legs into the living room………….(?)

 

She’s tiny, so she couldn’t really straddle the ball of leaves…

However with sheer will and a single-minded stubbornness, she was accomplishing the heist…

But iceberg lettuce…………………why?…….I don’t get it…….(?)

So everybody out there………………………..here’s a disclaimer…….

…………………………you might want to think twice about coming to dinner here for salad and brisket…

 

…….just saying…….

 

Prosecco gets her kitty treats………………..I get my brisket…….end of story…