We should have named Ben…..Houdini…

He is the best escape-artist, when it comes to getting out of his collars…

We (the knuckle-dragging/bi-peds) finally learned that a chain collar for the boy is necessary…….

…..we learned too late…….but we ultimately learned…….

…..we have also learned that the addition of a hearty harness (for social occasions, when we have to go out) is a necessity for the Ben-boy…….

…..(so that I can pull him off balance & subsequently stop his momentum)…..

In the recent past…..our dear boy Ben has started consuming his collars…….

…..(and they were heavy-duty/nylon-web collars, too)…….

Our normal purchase of the standard, 1″ wide, 26″ long collars were no match for the laser-focus of Ben…….

…..somehow he would gnaw them off of his personage in no time flat…….

…..so, I up-graded to the heavier-duty, 2″ wide, 26″ long, double-ply, double-stitched, nylon-web collar…….

…..hoping that would deter him (maybe a little bit longer)…….

…..it didn’t…….

I am here to say………….at a very crucial time………….

…..that 2″ wide, double-stitched, heavy-duty, nylon-webbed collar let us down…….kersplatt…….

You see, Molly was in season…….

Ben was wearing his shiny new,  2″ collar…….

And he ate through it in less than 15 minutes…….

He knocked me out of the way at the door…….

…..and he and Molly had GREAT fun larking around our very large, back yard…….

Oh, you can bet your bottom dollar that I was involved…….

…..actually I was bellowing and screaming and throwing things at them……..

…..I ran after them…….

…..but it’s a very big back yard…….I am sixty-five…….my hurdles and relay-race days are things of the dusty/distant past…….

…..I do have artificial knees and artificial hips now…….

…..I’m embarrassed to say…………I now run like an old lady…….

…..(but I was torquing-out and super-heating my artificial joints to their max!)…….

Ultimately…….the tall, coursing hounds…….(easily) out ran me…….

………………………..and they tied…………………………

…..my primal screaming turned into keening (and tears)…….

…..Ben and Molly only tied that ONE TIME…….

…..but that was enough…….

…..go ahead and count how many…….I dare you…….

…..sigh…….